“What matters to you is not necessarily what you say or believe, but what your actions and reactions reveal as important and serious to you.”
Sometimes it’s easy to let little things, that don’t matter, bother you. Whether it is something someone said to you or just waiting in line for too long at a supermarket. When you let those small things have the power to disturb you, then who you think you are is exactly that: small.
Let’s start with the supermarket example. You get off work after an 8 hour shift and need to go to the store to get groceries for dinner, however, the store is packed. You pull into the parking lot and notice the lack of spaces available to park and the immense amount of people walking to and from their cars. You become frustrated with the idea of not getting a spot close to the supermarket because you are in a rush to get home. You become impatient and frustrated. This initial response to something you can’t prevent or change, immediately changes your mood. You think to yourself about how this quick stop to the grocery store, after an 8 hour shift, is going to turn into a 2 hour trip. You won’t be home until 8 and you won’t be able to put your groceries away or cook dinner until then. You’re tired and annoyed. You walk into the grocery store and the crowds overwhelm you even more. You hurry through finding your grocery list then end up waiting in a long line to check out. By this time, your patience is incredibly low and your temper is short. But what you aren’t aware of is the fact that these small things don’t matter. These people, at the grocery store with you, maybe are just getting off work too, maybe they have just picked up their kids from daycare and instead of having time to themselves, their patience is even lower than yours because their kids are running around the grocery store crying. You are less aware of the people around you and unconscious to the idea that you all are in similar circumstances. You all just want to go home.
Most of the time, letting these small matter disturb your happiness interferes with how you react the remainder of the day or with the people around you.
Maybe after this grocery store run, you’ll go home to your family and your unhappy mood will affect theirs. This is a chain reaction that occurs after letting a small matter, that you cannot change, impact your mood.
Does your family, friends or loved ones deserve to receive your anger because of the frustrations you had at the grocery store?
And this all could’ve been prevented by making your original trip to the grocery store have lower expectations. You could’ve been more aware that most people in the grocery store are there for the same reasons you are.
Becoming more aware of others and more conscious to what is making your mood change is the first step in making situations, like these, more positive.
Letting go of the “I,” “Me,” in these scenarios releases the egoic terms you have put your thought process in.
Instead of reacting to these small matters negatively, you can change your thought process by thinking “that whatever situation I am in, is the best thing that could happen to me in this moment.”
By thinking this way, your patience will rise and will lessen the worry and stress that you have put on yourself.
“The more limited, the more narrowly egoic the view of yourself, the more you will see, focus on, and react to the egoic limitations and the unconsciousness in others.”